Are You There God? It’s Me, a Sexy Vampire
A sexy vampire wants to know when she will get her period, which is never, since vampires don’t menstruate. This causes a lot of frustration which young vampires everywhere can identify with. There is also a school dance.
Overheard at the skating rink
As a homeschooley-looking mom leads her brood away from a lesson, sobbing 4 year old in tow, she says to no one in particular “he’s CRYING because this just isn’t CHALLENGING enough for him.”
Ahem.
No.
He’s CRYING because you dressed him up like BRIAN freaking BOITANO and made him prance around on the ice like lord fauntleroy when he probably wants to just go home and play with some trucks or, god forbid, a toy gun.
Take the shortest route to the puck-carrier and arrive in ill humor.
– Fred “The Fog” Shero, Philly Flyers coach.
